New Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg was slammed by prominent Labour and Conservative MPs last night as it emerged that, disgracefully, he doesn't believe in God.
Senior Tory frontbencher, George Rentboy-Abuser, queried Clegg's right to run a major political party when he won't be able to blame any of his half-baked, incompetent or dangerous policies on an all-powerful deity. "He'll be saying he wants gays in the Navy next, dear me."
The attack from Labour was started by Gordon Brown acolyte, Mike Cocks. Mr Cocks savaged Mr Clegg as "a heathen, rat-shagging devil-man." He reasoned that if Christianity is good enough for our brave and noble leader Mr Brown, it should be plenty good enough for a no-mark, Ethel Austin version of David Cameron.
Mr Clegg was unperturbed by the criticism however, explaining that the popularity of celebrity atheists like Richard Dawkins, has led him to believe that he could corner the market for "the thinking man's (and woman's of course, and hermaphrodites'. Oh and albinos as well) votes."
When quizzed as to how his views would affect his treatment of the clergy should he ever be elected Prime Minister, and therefore Deputy Head of the Church of England, Mr Clegg, after he'd stopped laughing, promised that he would not bash the bishops. "At least not any more than was absolutely necessary".
No comments:
Post a Comment