Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.
When asked how much was too much Crow responded with the astonishing suggestion that any more than “one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".
The 45-year-old, who originally made the comments on her website, has just toured the US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.
She teamed up with environmental activist and wife of comedy genius Larry David with the disturbingly-familiar sounding name, Laurie David, for the shows. The pair targeted 11 university campuses to persuade students to help combat the world's environmental problems.
Our reporter quizzed Crow on what she meant by a “pesky occasion” to which she replied “you know, plop-plops, making big toilet?” The lavatory correspondent of a downmarket tabloid newspaper asked Crow to confirm if by this she meant “having a shite” but the singer was unwilling to confirm this.
Crow defended her crackpot scheme against claims that it was unworkable and, well, a crackpot scheme by saying that two to three sheets was a luxury to anyone in the Armed Forces, who, apparently, only get one sheet each and have to wrap it around their index finger, only to then stick said finger up their fundaments to carefully extract the faeces from the anus.
Crow said it was a straight choice for us all to make “We can either all get used to having a bit of ass stuck under our fingernails or drown to death in a global warming tidal wave or something”.
Crow's environmental opinions are not limited to toilet paper. She also believes paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness". So she has therefore designed a clothing line which features a detachable "dining sleeve" that wearers can use to wipe their mouth while eating. Her plans for environmentally-friendly tampons made of dog’s tails are, according to the singer, still in development.
When asked how much was too much Crow responded with the astonishing suggestion that any more than “one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required".
The 45-year-old, who originally made the comments on her website, has just toured the US on a biodiesel-powered bus to raise awareness about climate change.
She teamed up with environmental activist and wife of comedy genius Larry David with the disturbingly-familiar sounding name, Laurie David, for the shows. The pair targeted 11 university campuses to persuade students to help combat the world's environmental problems.
Our reporter quizzed Crow on what she meant by a “pesky occasion” to which she replied “you know, plop-plops, making big toilet?” The lavatory correspondent of a downmarket tabloid newspaper asked Crow to confirm if by this she meant “having a shite” but the singer was unwilling to confirm this.
Crow defended her crackpot scheme against claims that it was unworkable and, well, a crackpot scheme by saying that two to three sheets was a luxury to anyone in the Armed Forces, who, apparently, only get one sheet each and have to wrap it around their index finger, only to then stick said finger up their fundaments to carefully extract the faeces from the anus.
Crow said it was a straight choice for us all to make “We can either all get used to having a bit of ass stuck under our fingernails or drown to death in a global warming tidal wave or something”.
Crow's environmental opinions are not limited to toilet paper. She also believes paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness". So she has therefore designed a clothing line which features a detachable "dining sleeve" that wearers can use to wipe their mouth while eating. Her plans for environmentally-friendly tampons made of dog’s tails are, according to the singer, still in development.
No comments:
Post a Comment