Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton now looks certain be sent to be sent to prison next month after her appeal was thrown out today.
In a decision that is bound to horrify the emaciated trollop, California District Judge Dick Nasty ruled that there were no legal grounds to appeal a jail sentence based simply on the basis that the guilty party didn’t really want to go.
He also disregarded the online petition set up by Miss Hilton’s friends and acolytes as irrelevant, saying
In a decision that is bound to horrify the emaciated trollop, California District Judge Dick Nasty ruled that there were no legal grounds to appeal a jail sentence based simply on the basis that the guilty party didn’t really want to go.
He also disregarded the online petition set up by Miss Hilton’s friends and acolytes as irrelevant, saying
“Just because 20,000 simpletons somehow manage to type their names on a pathetic and frankly illiterate plea for mercy on behalf of a convicted criminal, it matters not a jot to me. I have already gone to substantial expense setting up special spy cameras throughout the KD Lang Memorial Detention Center and I’ll be damned if I’m not going to return on my investment!”
With her appeal now failed, Miss Hilton is due to begin her sentence on 5th June and we can reveal that her fellow prisoners are eagerly awaiting her entrance. There is palpable excitement within the prison that anyone fortunate enough to bag themselves a bit of enforced lesbianism with Hilton, on hidden camera of course, will inevitably attain fame and notoriety of their own.
With her appeal now failed, Miss Hilton is due to begin her sentence on 5th June and we can reveal that her fellow prisoners are eagerly awaiting her entrance. There is palpable excitement within the prison that anyone fortunate enough to bag themselves a bit of enforced lesbianism with Hilton, on hidden camera of course, will inevitably attain fame and notoriety of their own.
Our pornography correspondent, Tom Hank, believes there is already a fierce bidding war taking place between the adult movie world’s most powerful players for the exclusive rights to the as-yet unmade feature. The un-named smut-merchants who are offering in excess of $10 million for the 'banged up' girl-on-girl filth are thought to be Terry "The Assman" Lawson and Spank Productions overlord John Leslie.
One thing we do know for sure is that Miss Hilton looks certain to increase her already obscene personal fortune when the movie is finally “accidentally” released later next month.
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