Gordon Brown's last-ditch attempt to rescue his premiership lies in tatters today as Britain wakes up thirty years ago.
Following the Labour government’s catastrophic showing in yesterday’s local elections, Gordon Brown has been forced to take desperate measures to attempt to win back public support.
In what has been described by senior civil servants as “a surprise move”, the PM has taken the entire country back in time. Over the last two months, the government’s top advisers have secretly been showing Mr Brown DVD box-sets of the smash-hit BBC TV series, Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes.
So impressed was he with the way these shows captured the public’s affection, Mr Brown has railroaded through the launch of the government’s Super Duper Country Teleporter to take the electorate back to happier, more carefree days.
Unfortunately, however, the Super Duper Country Teleporter was not operational to full capacity when the PM accidentally activated it at 6.30 this morning by banging his head on the “Start Teleporting” button, thereby taking the entire United Kingdom back to 1978.
Our source inside Number 10 can reveal that Mr Brown originally intended to take the nation back to 1973 after watching Life on Mars but then changed his mind after viewing the sequel Ashes to Ashes and threw 1981 into the mix as well. The boss-eyed ditherer was unable to choose between them and thus when the machine was inadvertently turned on this morning, it defaulted to a year somewhere inbetween.
Now the beleagured PM faces the prospect of running a hugely unpopular administration grimly hanging onto the reins of a severely depressed country in the throes of recession with oil prices skyrocketing and industrial disputes breaking out left, right and centre. According to our source “he hopes no-one will notice any difference.”
In what has been described by senior civil servants as “a surprise move”, the PM has taken the entire country back in time. Over the last two months, the government’s top advisers have secretly been showing Mr Brown DVD box-sets of the smash-hit BBC TV series, Life on Mars and Ashes to Ashes.
So impressed was he with the way these shows captured the public’s affection, Mr Brown has railroaded through the launch of the government’s Super Duper Country Teleporter to take the electorate back to happier, more carefree days.
Unfortunately, however, the Super Duper Country Teleporter was not operational to full capacity when the PM accidentally activated it at 6.30 this morning by banging his head on the “Start Teleporting” button, thereby taking the entire United Kingdom back to 1978.
Our source inside Number 10 can reveal that Mr Brown originally intended to take the nation back to 1973 after watching Life on Mars but then changed his mind after viewing the sequel Ashes to Ashes and threw 1981 into the mix as well. The boss-eyed ditherer was unable to choose between them and thus when the machine was inadvertently turned on this morning, it defaulted to a year somewhere inbetween.
Now the beleagured PM faces the prospect of running a hugely unpopular administration grimly hanging onto the reins of a severely depressed country in the throes of recession with oil prices skyrocketing and industrial disputes breaking out left, right and centre. According to our source “he hopes no-one will notice any difference.”
No comments:
Post a Comment