You may recall that yesterday in our article on the launch of Red Nose Day 2007, we reported that there is to be a big auction of comedian’s gifts. Well, the guys and gals down at Comic Relief have been kind enough to let us have some details of the choicest items on offer so you can get your bids in early. You lucky people.
So, without further ado, feast your eyes on the following treasure trove of charitable hilarity and get your wallets out. Or don’t. Frankly it’s nothing to do with us either way. We’ve already given 20p each to the woman who comes in the pub collecting for MS or cancer or whatever the fuck it was. And, one of us once gave a tramp a pound AND told him he didn’t care if he spent it on cheap cider! So as you can imagine, we at Yesterdays Knews Towers have more than done our bit for charity this year.
However, for the rest of you feckless, selfish, spoilt wasters, here are the prize items for the all-star auction:
Lot 101 donated by Jo Brand : A used tampon with signed verification from the donor that the item has definitely been inside her sopping , bleeding fanny.
Lot 102 donated by Jack Dee : Complete box set of all five series of Curb Your Enthusiasm together with the handmade notes scribbled on the case, which Jack assures us comprises the final script for his recent BBC sitcom, Lead Balloon.
Lot 103 donated by Ricky Gervais : A signed copy of his favourite book “How to be humble when you attain long-sought-after success”. He knows Jerry Seinfeld you know?
Lot 104 donated by Sacha Baron Cohen : A special private sneak preview of his new comedy character. All we can tell you at this stage is that he asks Americans a series of rather inappropriately amusing questions in a silly accent.
So, without further ado, feast your eyes on the following treasure trove of charitable hilarity and get your wallets out. Or don’t. Frankly it’s nothing to do with us either way. We’ve already given 20p each to the woman who comes in the pub collecting for MS or cancer or whatever the fuck it was. And, one of us once gave a tramp a pound AND told him he didn’t care if he spent it on cheap cider! So as you can imagine, we at Yesterdays Knews Towers have more than done our bit for charity this year.
However, for the rest of you feckless, selfish, spoilt wasters, here are the prize items for the all-star auction:
Lot 101 donated by Jo Brand : A used tampon with signed verification from the donor that the item has definitely been inside her sopping , bleeding fanny.
Lot 102 donated by Jack Dee : Complete box set of all five series of Curb Your Enthusiasm together with the handmade notes scribbled on the case, which Jack assures us comprises the final script for his recent BBC sitcom, Lead Balloon.
Lot 103 donated by Ricky Gervais : A signed copy of his favourite book “How to be humble when you attain long-sought-after success”. He knows Jerry Seinfeld you know?
Lot 104 donated by Sacha Baron Cohen : A special private sneak preview of his new comedy character. All we can tell you at this stage is that he asks Americans a series of rather inappropriately amusing questions in a silly accent.
Lot 105 donated by Julian Clary: A signed first-edition of his new novel “Oooh! I’ve just shoved this bald man’s cock right up my arse Mrs Wilberforce”
So, what are you waiting for? Get your bids in now by logging onto www. its alright to be an attention-seeking tosser, dress like a cunt and act like a bona fide bell-end for a day cos some failed comedians on the telly said so.co.uk.
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