Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Big Hugs Don't Make Thugs

A school in Hampshire has banned its pupils from giving each other hugs in the class room or playground. It would appear that there has been a trend recently for pupils to greet each other with a hug. The headmistress Mrs Lawlor has banned this trend due to the fact that the friendly greeting may be used to bully pupils at school.

When questioned on the matter Mrs Lawlor replied, “This trend is something that has swept the entire school in the last month or two. It may seem an innocent thing to do but what if you were hugged by one of the 6 form girls, when you didn’t want her attention. You may feel ill at ease to say the least. I just wouldn’t want girls embracing each other this way it could not only be intimidating but intrusive.”

The school girls at The Good Samaritan of The Holy Cross were informed by the teaching staff to not speak to the press on this matter. We spoke to the schools former caretaker Mr Peter File who commented, “I feel this is yet again another example of political correctness gone wrong. I was sacked recently from my job at the school and so I have no problem giving an interview on the matter. The girls are a lovely bunch of people and I found it no problem what so ever seeing them hugging closely with each other. In fact it brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye when ever I saw it happening in the playground. I was hugged by the girls a couple of times myself which made me feel warm inside not bullied. Have you ever had a young girl hold you close and squeeze you there is nothing wrong in it?”

We have been unable to confirm why Mr File has been removed from the post of Caretaker. The school has refused to make any further statement on the hugging ban. However, they were happy to deny a ban on breathing at the school has been set in motion as this would be wrong.

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